Here are 5 reasons why you should upgrade to a first class seat when taking the bus in a third world country.
1. It’s not really that much more expensive for first class.
2. The armrests are actually where they belong, and your arm isn’t resting on a sharp peice of metal instead of a nice padded armrest.
3. You actually get to sit in the window seat you reserved, instead of being told to sit in another (aisle) seat at the back of the bus right over top of the really noisy engine.
4. Parents don’t pay to upgrade their crying babies to first class. That means that you don’t have crying babies beside you, and parents who think it’s okay to change their babies shitty diapers right there in the seat two feet away from you. Yes, this happened. Thanks for asking.
5. Parents dont pay to upgrade their screaming children to first class. In first class, you don’t have kids behind you who have to be making a sound every single moment of the 5 hour bus ride – for example, I just heard a 4 year old say “PA-POW!” in a high pitched voice approximately 5000 times.
I’d like to expand on reason number five a little bit. If I was being interogated for commiting the most heinous crimes imaginable, and the torture was to listen to the child behind me say “PA-POW!” over and over again, I would have confessed at about the two hour mark just to make him shut his trap, regardless of whether or not I had commited the crimes. I’d deal with the consequences later. In silence.
That’s all I can think of right now. I’ll let you know if I come up with any more next time the first class is full and I have to ride coach.